I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
