he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
