I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
