I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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