I heard we made out
Nicole vs. Life
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
