they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
