Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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