I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
