That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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