Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
