fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They took my balls.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YAS. BRING CRAB.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize