i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
