I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
