You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
