i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
