I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
