And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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