Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I touched a dick in church today
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
