ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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