What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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