The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
