If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
