would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
