you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
