My nipple is on Facebook.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
