Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
