I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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