that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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