Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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