Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
