Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
