there's paper in my vomit.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize