Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My vagina is officially offended.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
