So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
