we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
