before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I will pee on everything he values.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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