some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
