First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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