Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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