So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
