Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize