Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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