Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
