Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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