i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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