And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
