But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
