what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
