Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
