Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize