First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize