Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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