I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
