I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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