you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
