This is not my ceiling
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
