i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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