holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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