If i come over, it means nothing
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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