In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
