I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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