organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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